A Slay Like a Mother review with examples of how the book helped me to overcome my dragon of self-doubt to become a happier mom and person.
Do you struggle with that negative, nagging voice in your head that tells you that you aren’t good enough? It tells you that you’re a bad mom or a bad wife. It says that everyone else has their sh*t together except you. I certainly do, and it was refreshing to find out that so many mothers (and women in general) do too!
I recently read Slay Like a Mother: How to Destroy What’s Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want by Katherine Wintsch and feel so inspired to change my internal dialogue. In the book, Wintsch refers to that negative inner voice as your “dragon” and the only way to be free of it is to slay it. But how?
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Moms and the Struggle with Self Doubt
Prior to founding her company, The Mom Complex, Wintsch worked for a marketing agency, juggling her life and pretending to have it all together. She was tired but didn’t want to show it. Everything clicked for her when her agency asked her to interview moms around the world as part of a job pitch. What she found was mothers around the world struggling with the same self-doubt. They doubted their abilities as mothers, as employees, as women. They were comparing themselves to some fantasy “perfect” mom and nothing they ever did was good enough. She discovered that “we are not who we pretend to be.” Slowly, Wintsch started opening up more and as she did, she found that many of the women around her felt the same way. They felt that they weren’t enough and were exhausted from trying.
My Own Self Doubt
Personally, I related to the premise of Slay Like a Mother so much. I question my mothering at least 100 times per day. I constantly wonder about whether or not other women struggle as I do. Sometimes, I even wonder if it was a mistake for me to become a mom at all.
This book revealed to me two things:
1. I’m not the only woman who feels this way.
2. The person I’m comparing myself to is someone that I made up in my head.
The criticism and doubt all come from me. I’m the one setting over-the-top expectations. I act as if I have it together for others. I compare myself to the “perfect” moms on Instagram. All of my doubt and negativity come from inside me, so that’s where I needed to start. I needed to slay my dragon of self-doubt.
Raising Future Dragon Slayers
The chapter that spoke to me the most in this book was about “Raising Dragon Slayers.” I definitely don’t want my daughters to inherit my insecurities and self-doubt. I want them to be little dragon slayers that know their worth. Women that don’t feel like they need to put up a front of perfection for the world. Those girls are my biggest motivation for bettering myself and liking myself. We repeat daily affirmations together to remind them that they are strong, brave, smart, kind, and beautiful. They can take on the world! And they shouldn’t let anyone, especially themselves, stand in their way.
Did I Slay My Dragon?
Now I’d be lying if I said that I read the book, slew my dragon and everything is peachy-keen. What I did get from the book was more self-awareness. I have the ability to identify the nasty beast of doubt in my head. And I *mostly* shush my negative inner voice when it pops back up.
I’ve also learned that it’s more important to show your struggles than to pretend that you have it all together. I felt so alone in my self-doubt and never realized how many other women around me were struggling. The more honest I am with myself, and with them, the less alone I feel. It’s terrifying to put yourself out there, but it’s way scarier to feel alone. At least for me.
You Should Read Slay Like A Mother
If you’re a mom or woman, that struggles with the pressures of self-doubt and never feel like you measure up, I’d definitely encourage you to read Slay Like a Mother. Wintsch provides questions and exercises that really encourage you to dig down deep and confront your “dragon.” She also provides some tangible encouragement for keeping it away. I think this is a book that I can return to in tough seasons to be reminded that I can slay that dragon! The only thing stopping me from living the life I want is me.