Going From 1 to 2 Kids- The Biggest Differences with a 2nd Baby

Going from 1 to 2 kids is both easier and harder than I ever expected. In a lot of ways, not much has changed. I still live in yoga pants and consume way too much coffee most days. But in just as many ways, things are so different. I can’t just turn on Moana to get some quiet time and I’m almost never alone. Some of these changes were totally expected, but others have definitely surprised me.

Going From 1 to 2 Kids

The biggest, and most unexpected difference in going from 1 to 2 kids, is time. With Mara I had all the time in the world during her nap times to get stuff done. When she was an infant I would nap while she napped, or work on chores around the house. When she got a little older and was sleeping 10 hours at night I would use that nap time to blog or do a project. Now that I have two kids, whenever one is asleep chances are the other one is awake.  This means that during the day I have zero time to get anything done. I have to wake up early and work in the morning or, maybe, get it done in the evenings. The chances of evening productivity are pretty low though. Usually I’m way too tired. I know this will change as Bellamy gets older and sleeps more (at least I hope so!), but for now there just never seems to be enough time. Going From 1 to 2 Kids

The next big difference in going from 1 to 2 kids: no child 100% gets my undivided attention. When Mara was a baby I spent my days laying on the floor with her during tummy-time or snuggling with her while I watched TV. That is certainly not the case now! If I’m feeding or playing with Belle, I’m also talking to, or trying to play with, Mara. Or trying to keep her from loving her sister a little to roughly. Then, if Bellamy wakes up while I’m playing with Mara then I have to stop in the middle of our playtime and tend to her. My time with both girls feels so interrupted and short! I want to snuggle and enjoy Bellamy’s baby days, but Mara is at such a fun age! I miss all of our special Mommy-Mara time that we used to have. I get that time occasionally, but it’s not the same as when we’d spend all day together out and about. This also means I almost never do chores while Bellamy is asleep because I feel too guilty. I always feel like I should be playing with Mara and giving her 1-on-1 time she doesn’t get as much while Belle is awake. I just don’t feel like I truly get to enjoy alone time with either of my daughters. Going From 1 to 2 Kids

The other big difference in going from 1 to 2 kids is that I am NEVER alone. I always have to have one of the kids with me. I can’t leave Mara unattended in a room with Belle, so if I need to use the bathroom, or do laundry, or just go to the kitchen, I have to take somebody with me. This can be extremely grating, especially since Bellamy sleeps in my bedroom still. Even when I’m asleep there is always a kid nearby!

An easier adjustment has been the one to our social lives. When we had Mara it was a HUGE adjustment for us socially. We couldn’t just go out with our friends whenever we wanted or spend an entire day out and about without careful planning. Now, Jesse and I are used to not being able to go out on a whim, so there is barely an adjustment this time around. We both still go out regularly, just not with each other. With Mara we did have our parents watch her every few weeks so we could have a date night. Right now, it’s harder to get a sitter for both kids, especially a tiny baby. This means date nights aren’t really happening right now. We are hopeful that once Belle gets a little older we will be able to at least have a bi-monthly date night. Going From 1 to 2 Kids

The other easy adjustment is just knowing how to take care of this baby. I’m a lot less paranoid and a lot less anxious about taking care of Bellamy because Mara turned out just fine! As a first time mom, there are so many things that you’re nervous about, but a lot of that anxiety goes away or doesn’t exist with the second kid. I’m so much more relaxed about whether Belle is eating enough and not holding her 24/7. I’m just more relaxed in general. Except when it’s midnight and she won’t sleep. That still makes me ugly cry. Going From 1 to 2 Kids

I’ve been fighting really hard to make sure that Belle doesn’t have any of that “second child syndrome.” I don’t want her to feel like she’s been left out or that mom didn’t pay enough attention to her. I keep up with her pictures and make sure I document videos on Instagram or Facebook, just so she doesn’t feel left out one day. She is just so special and makes our family feel more complete. Jesse and I can’t believe she’s only 2 months old because it feels like she’s always been here!

3 thoughts on “Going From 1 to 2 Kids- The Biggest Differences with a 2nd Baby”

  • I think you are doing a great job! I think you definitely have a huge amount of self awareness this time around which makes a huge difference in everything you do!

  • Loved this blog. My daughter & daughter-in-law are going from 1 to 2 this year, and I’m forwarding this to them.

    Also love your love of Star Wars. We are also a Star Wars family. In fact, our guitarist son has arranged several of the themes for classical guitar. You will love them. Here’s his channel – http://www.youtube.com/beyondtheguitar – just look for the Star Wars ones, for sure.

    Thanks for writing!

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